Chapter 1

What would you do? 

Some people want it all, 

But me? I just want you.

Everyday of my life I dream of having you besides me.

But I know you wouldn't be there.

If I could, 

I would do anything for you to be with me here.

But I guess I can't do anything. 

Cause I couldn't.

I watch you.

I watch you lying there with your eyes closed.

I could go with you.

But I guess I couldn't.

It's not because I don't want to.

It just I couldn't.

I don't have the courage to go with you.

Leaving me behind is the best thing you could do. 

It makes me cry, 

But you know it's for the better future.

You know you couldn't grow old with me,

So you go and leave me behind.

I never get mad for this. 

Even it's not your decision to go.

It's were meant to be.

One of us have to go,

In order for the other to realize the world does not circle around them. 

I guess it was me who need a realization. 

Cause now I see it, 

I understand the world more. 

I thank you for that. 

I will be loved. 

I am loved. 

I am sorry for everything. 

I am sorry if you think that I did not love you enough. 

If I could,

I would want one more day with you,

Just to show you that you are my world. 

To show how much I loved you. 

I really do. 

If I could, 

I would like to change place with you. 

Let me go and you can stay. 

So you could be loved by someone as much as you loved me.

I know you didn't felt my love much.

You don't see my love much. 

I regret to say that the love only can be seen once you gone.

How I wish I show you my love more so that you will be happy again.

And I would like you to know how it's feel to be loved again. 

I just want you to know,

Nobody love me better then you. 

You know exactly what I want

What I need

What I hate.

It kills me to say that I know nothing on what you hate.

I can't think on a single thing that make you feel hate.

I guess your love closed my eyes on the hate.

But knowing that I know nothing that you hate did kill me.

It show exactly how much I know you and it seems like I know nothing about you. 

You leaving me behind is might be a good thing for you.

At least there will be no more pain for you.

At least you had an happy life with me, 

I hope.

I can't wish you the best anymore,

Cause you are having the best. 

Leaving me behind is the best for you. 

I only bring you down. 

And now, I will no longer hold you down. 

You in other life now. 

I only hope if you see me now, 

I just want you to know that I am happy.

I am in good hand. 

Rest in peace my love,

My love will always have you in it.

My prayer is always with you.

May Allah forgive you for all the sins you make,

May Allah grant you forgiveness and place you near him.

I will always miss you. 

NSA

15.5.18